Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out

  (607): View more from New York

  what a beautiful fairy tale

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out (607): what a beautiful fairy tale http://tfl.nu/50v3
  Replies (33) Good night (10658) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed http://tfl.nu/twel
  Replies (24) Good night (3547) Bad night (1753) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky http://tfl.nu/6tb5
  Replies (22) Good night (8525) Bad night (1167) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often. http://tfl.nu/6bnz
  Replies (31) Good night (10362) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal http://tfl.nu/oaxp
  Replies (35) Good night (1593) Bad night (3961)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (606): Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley.. http://tfl.nu/q4d8
  Replies (13) Good night (3310) Bad night (896) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there. http://tfl.nu/6g57
  Replies (4) Good night (2623) Bad night (688) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (831): She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs http://tfl.nu/k6rx
  Replies (7) Good night (2943) Bad night (1002) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions. http://tfl.nu/d3ti
  Replies (10) Good night (2241) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays. http://tfl.nu/na3q
  Replies (4) Good night (522) Bad night (1369) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits. http://tfl.nu/q1hp
  Replies (8) Good night (661) Bad night (1214) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.

  (917): View more from New York City

  that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride. (917): that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks. http://tfl.nu/bp4f
  Replies (3) Good night (1490) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass http://tfl.nu/c4rp
  Replies (9) Good night (1115) Bad night (404) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina. http://tfl.nu/1g8w
  Replies (8) Good night (630) Bad night (1286) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you http://tfl.nu/kuvj
  Replies (6) Good night (1677) Bad night (216) Order T-Shirt

Randomize