Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize