About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
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