yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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