Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize