I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize