I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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