She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize