just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm way too hungover for life right now
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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