you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize