i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize