Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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