Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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