you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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