apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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