you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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