she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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