He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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