you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
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I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
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YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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