Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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