First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
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You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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