I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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