They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
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He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
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Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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