i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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