Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
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you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
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In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
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