just come out here and I will go home with you...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize