he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
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It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
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Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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