Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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