so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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