I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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