Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
PANTIES FOUND
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