I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Operation Purity has been aborted
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize