did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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