so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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