I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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