So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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