the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize