Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I wish i was in the wii world.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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