We're facebook friends in real life
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize