I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
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The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
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I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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