i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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