i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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