i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
two words: eviction party
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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