dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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