the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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