I can tuck mytits in my pants
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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