I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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