hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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