Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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