You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
How external is "for external use only"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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